#5 – The 4 Love Buckets – Self Love – Love Yourself First

The Four Love buckets –

What is love?

And how do we even feel loved?

Let me explain…  There are 4 ways that we can feel loved.


The first one is self love

Self love is the ONLY love that we can control

It’s the only love that we can fully 100% rely on.

And it’s ok to love yourself.

It really is.

Self love is the feeling of knowing who you are at your core.

Self love is not external.

It’s not EGO.

It’s about recognising that you’ve been through good times and bad.

It’s accepting you for who you are.

Self love is very much an internal love


The other ways we feel loved is from EXTERNAL SOURCES

Which brings me to

The second type of love

The Love from others  –  this could be friends, family or work colleagues


The third type of love is

The love from an intimate partner


The Fourth type of love is

The love from children or pets.


And….  Sometimes we DO look for love in all the wrong places.


Here’s the important part..

The last 3 ways to feel loved are from external sources

Meaning you CAN NOT control these!!

No matter how hard you try….

Because at different times in your life, people will take their love away from you

through no fault of your own!

And… at different points in time, these external sources may have felt full of love..

some were overflowing

Then one day it may have stopped abruptly…..

If all of your external sources get taken away at once, it can feel dreadful. It can make you feel sad.


If we only focus on external love.  That’s the risk we take.

This love is outside of our control

It is love outside of us.

Because remember.. You can’t control other people and how they feel.

You can only control how you feel about the situation.

This is why it’s very important for you  to focus on your own love wholeheartedly first.

Your love is the only love that you CAN control..

Guard it with your life!

And remember You still have plenty of love to go around….


Your default position needs to be

that you focus on self love first.

Because watch what happens….

If a break up occurs with an intimate partner

and if we have focused on them loving us in order for us to feel happy…..

If they take their love away.

We’ve left ourselves with nothing.

Their love could have made us feel happy.

even though it’s wonderful to have, we can’t rely on external love to make us happy.

And know that..

It’s no one else’s responsibility to make you happy but yourself.

It’s up to you.

Soooo.. It’s time to love you first.

Focus on Self love first and guard it with your life.

Say nice things to yourself.

Be kind to yourself.

Take care of yourself

Know that you are doing the best with what you have.

And most importantly


Love yourself first.


Lisa B is the author of Banish The Bitch And Bring Out The Babe and host of The Lisa B Show.

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Question : What did you learn or what was something that resonated with you about this episode?

Please let me know in the comments below.

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