#6 Feminist v’s Feminine – I believe that some feminists have it wrong

Being feminine doesn’t mean you are anti-feminist and being a feminist doesn’t mean you can’t be feminine.

I sometimes get emails from women who get a little agitated thinking that my book is trying to disempower women from a feminist perspective,  when I am actually doing the opposite.

I’m empowering women with a feminine perspective.


I also don’t think that these women have actually read my book..


 I wanted to take the time and address this anyway as it’s surfaced a bit…

I understand that some feminists will NOT LIKE some of the messages in my book AND some will TOTALLY RELATE.

For the women out there that are single and would like to be in a relationship,  then please….. Just explore the topic of masculine and feminine energy.

So to cut to the chase, I think that some feminists have it all wrong. 

I believe that some have their balance wrong.

I will explain why in a moment……..

Firstly I want to say that I agree 100% with equality.

We should have equal pay, we should have the right to vote, have equal social rights and we should have freedom of choice.

I believe that we need to fight against domestic violence, and protect women and girls against sexual harassment and rape.

I believe we should fight for everything that goes with gender equality.

We SHOULD be treated as equals.

But here’s the thing… Just because I believe in feminism, it doesn’t mean I also believe I have to be masculine in my energy.

I don’t believe women have to be strong ALL THE TIME.

It’s soooo sad..

Men are encouraged to hide their feelings and be strong..

Are we trying to encourage women to do the same?

No one should hide their feelings, shut up and be strong ALL the time.

Especially if it’s not our ‘natural’ state.



What’s changed? 


Why is the information in my book relevant?

Over the last few decades, things have changed dramatically for women.

Women’s roles in society have changed for two very obvious reasons –

  • Single Mothers – With divorce rates increasing, it’s has left a trail of many more single mothers.   There are a lot more women that have taken on both roles in the family unit. They have to be strong, they have to protect, they have to nurture, many have to work, they have sole financial responsibility and in a lot of cases they have to do it all alone.
  • Career women – There are many more women in solid ‘kick butt’ careers. Women have had to become strong to compete to be equals or above with the men in the workplace. They may also have the financial pressures that go with our increased quality of living – they may also have to juggle children and partners and everything that goes along with it.

We have worked hard to give women the right to do just about every single job that a man can do.   But…. compared to our mothers and grandmothers many more women have the opportunity to obtain much higher roles in the community. Virtually any role they want.

This means generally speaking we have to be well educated, hold a lot more responsibility, work longer hours, have more pressure and handle a lot more stress.

And when we are juggling children, there’s also many other issues that can come up – one of these is the stereotypical idea that women raise the children.

Many women have an enormous sense of guilt in having a career and they battle with this guilt – some women are still torn as to whether it should be their job to raise the children.


Masculine and feminine energy IS very different.

In all the pressure with fighting to achieve, many women have had to become masculine in their energy.

Firstly, what does each energy mean?

Masculine energy is very focused and driven on their goals and outcomes.  It’s maximum power and strength.  It’s the challenge and it’s the fight!

Feminine energy is love.   Feminine energy is feeling.   Feminine is a soft energy.  Feminine is being in the moment.  Feminine energy is a love outside ourselves. Feminine energy is also extremely powerful with who you can influence and help.

Each energy is different in the way they think, how they act and how they process things.

And….  I’m not just talking about women.

Masculine and feminine energy is not gender based.    A man can be feminine and a woman can be masculine and vice versa.

If you prefer not to use the terminology masculine and feminine, I’m quite happy for you to use the words strength and power  OR  soft energy and love.

We can all have the extremes of both. We can be a man and be feminine and we can be a man and be masculine.  We can be a woman and be masculine, we can be a woman and be feminine.

We all have access to BOTH energies.

But some of us live in the extremes of either one of those two energies.


In relationships, when there are opposite energies in a relationship we come together with a spark and chemistry.

When you have opposite energies in relationships, that’s where attraction and polarity begins.


The energy we use at work and in business to get things done, won’t necessarily work in our relationships.

If you are in a relationship where something is missing..  If you don’t have the spark anymore, then learn about masculine and feminine energy.

If you are masculine in your energy, you will have either attracted a feminine man, or you will have a masculine man who is very confused about how to handle you.

If you want to be the masculine energy and maintain full control in your relationship then that’s ok. If you are happy then keep doing what you are doing..

If not.. Then I suggest that you learn about masculine and feminine energy.

Masculine energy is awesome

There is nothing wrong with masculine energy.  If you can access your masculine energy – embrace it!  You are strong and you can make things happen.

It’s when we get stuck in the extreme of one energy that we have problems..

For example when we get home from work and we are stuck in our masculine energy – we are stuck in our heads..

When we can’t switch off.


Be careful – Masculine energy can also be very seductive.

The power.

The significance.

The rewards.

But also recognise that there are trade offs..

We can lose our own core energy – I know this because I did!

When I was running my businesses, I was competing with men the majority of the time during work hours – and because I was so used to being in fight or flight mode, I brought that energy home with me.


Present day….

Quite simply, I realise that I don’t want or need to compete with men ALL of the time to show that I’m an equal.

So my point is that masculine energy has it’s place in our lives

and so does feminine energy.

Opposite energy

I truly believe that we need to have opposite energies to experience fulfilment in our lives.

So why would feminists have a problem with someone being feminine?

I guess it’s their interpretation as to what being feminine means.

Femininity doesn’t make you weak, it doesn’t make you ditzy. It makes you a woman and it makes you bloody powerful!

It makes you more powerful at times than you will ever be in your masculine.

Bottom line

Being equal does not mean we have to be the same. 

Because….. I don’t want to be the same as a man.

I want the choice to live either in my feminine energy or in my masculine.

Is that such a bad thing?

I want the right to switch to my masculine energy when I NEED to and switch to my feminine energy when I WANT to.  I certainly don’t always want to be in my masculine energy in ALL aspects of my life.

Why?  Because I have BEEN THERE and DONE THAT.

And I was tired!  I was drained!

I felt like I was a man!

I needed to learn how to switch off.

Because…. Don’t I have the right to be in my core energy if I want and choose to?

Regain your femininity.

I want you to remember what it’s like to be in your feminine if you have lost that feeling..


I want you to experience what it feels like to be feminine.  Some of us have never known what it feels like.

Here is something to think about…


In life there is an opposite to everything.  Good and bad, night and day and also the opposite of masculine energy which is feminine energy.

We’ve all also heard the saying that opposites attract. We know this

is true – take a magnet, for example. If we were to get two magnets

and we put the north and south poles together, they will attract each

other. Yet if you put two north poles or two south poles together,

they will repel. It’s the same principle when it comes to masculine

and feminine energy in relationships

In the bedroom

If you are feminine in your core then your natural opposite energy will be masculine energy.

If you are equally sharing the responsibilities in life, then consider who is the masculine and who is the feminine energy in the bedroom?   In order to have polarity and chemistry, someone in the relationship needs to be masculine and someone needs to be feminine.

So.. yes I agree that we need to be equal to our partners, but there are times when we also need to be opposite to our partners.

That’s how polarity happens in relationships.

I had real estate offices in my early 20’s (at a time when real estate was a very male dominated industry), all my role models in sales and business were males.  Because I wanted to be successful, I modelled them.

The result was that I became very masculine in my energy. I can now see that I was pretty much in my masculine energy MOST of the time.

If only I knew that I could switch between the two energies instead of living my life in masculine energy.

I now have the flexibility that when I am at work, I can make things happen, I can conquer, I can have an amazing career


When I get home, or go out..  I can switch off and be in my feminine energy with my son, my friends and my partner.

Just because we have a career, just because we are ‘equals’ it doesn’t mean we also have to lose our femininity. Femininity still has a role to play. Being a woman, being soft and being nurturing is still a necessary part of fulfilment in life.

To me life is about doing, being and having everything that your heart desires.

It’s about being who you really are.  It’s about being fulfilled in your life, career and love.

So yes…. I am 100% all for gender equality and everything that stands for.

And no matter what the feminists say, in a normal hetrosexual relationship we need a man not only to procreate, we also need a man to feel love at the deepest level in intimacy.  No man made appliance will do that for you, no matter how much you may think you love it.

My challenge

My book challenges single people who have not been able to find their soul mate to look at their energy.  My book also challenges established relationships that have lost the spark, to check in on their energy.

My belief is that you should be able to have a career, as well as love a man with all your heart and soul.

So maybe some feminists might just identify with this book after all?

Book review –

This review sums it up my book quite nicely though..

‘While her perspective may seem anti feminist at times, she makes a convincing argument for “polarity” in relationships and offers many helpful cognitive exercises, including to leverage NLP-type “anchors” of clenching one’s left or right fist to consciously tap into and assert female or male energy as the situation warrants.’ Kirkus review

To have passion in a relationship, polarity is everything.

Lisa B is the author of Banish The Bitch And Bring Out The Babe and host of The Lisa B Show.

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Feminists – Resource

Germaine Greer – Resource

Kirkus Review – Resource

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